Freedom?

A new year has begun! We have 7 new missionaries with us, 3 from the US and 4 from Honduras. We just finished up orientation, and now are embarking on a new journey together! I’m so excited to see what year 2 has in store!!!

Since my last blog, Honduras (and all of Central America) celebrated their Independence Day, on September 15. Amidst all of the parades and music, I got to thinking…what is freedom? We hear so much talk about freedom, and especially as people from the United States we value freedom so highly. But what is this ideal that we fight so hard to achieve and defend?

The proposed answer by today’s culture is: freedom means you can do whatever you want, without limitations. There is some truth to this – it is great to be able to choose where we want to live, what career we want to pursue, what kind of Cheerio’s we want to buy. But I also think this is a very flawed view. Young people today (myself included) are so used to viewing the world in this way, that we find it very hard to make decisions. Any decision “inhibits” me, because it closes so many potential doors. “I don’t know which major to choose in college because once I choose, I can’t do any of the others.” Or “Ya we’ve been dating for 4 years, but I’m just not sure if he/she’s the one. What if I find someone better in the future?” Etc etc.

I don’t find this idea freeing at all. In fact, when I came home from Honduras at Christmas last year, I went in to the grocery store, and was completely overwhelmed by the options! I don’t want 25 different types of Cheerio’s to choose from!! In one sense I’m freer because I have more options, but on the other hand, it makes it that much harder to choose anything at all! We’re so used to having a million options to choose from, that in the end we can’t choose anything!

For me, freedom does not mean having a million options to choose from; it doesn’t mean being able to do whatever I want, without limitations. In fact, just the opposite. For example, I speak English very freely. I don’t have to think about it or try to do it – I just do it! I am completely free to speak English. But why? Because I can put whatever words I want in any order I want? No – because I understand all of the rules and the structure of the language. I need there to be rules and structure. If I just spat out random words, I wouldn’t be free to speak English – I would be free to speak gibberish. The rules and limitations allow me to be free.

Or another example – let’s say I’m part of a symphony, playing the violin. Am I free in this symphony to play whatever I want, regardless of all the other instruments? Well, sure I am, but it’s going to be a disaster! I’m truly free when I’ve practiced the music and know it so well, that I can play in complete harmony with all the other instruments. It’s the same with our lives. We can use our freedom to “play whatever we want” on our violin, but it will be a disaster. Only when we recognize who we are, what we were made for, where we are going, can we use our freedom to play a beautiful harmony with our lives.

Any created thing works best when it is used for the purpose for which it was created. I can use a saw to chop down a tree, or I can use it to try to brush my teeth. I can use an oven to bake a cake, or I can stick my head in it. God has given us freedom in our lives. We can choose to use our freedom to bring peace, or to bring disunity. We can choose to follow God in the way that He made us, or we can choose to “stick our head in the oven.”

Ultimately, we’ve been giving freedom to choose love. That is the highest goal of our freedom: to choose to love. Because, like I said in my last post (and in the link I included), love is a choice. Our freedom has been given to us by God so that we may learn, day by day, to move from choosing our own selfish desires and motives, to choosing to love others – to put their needs and wants first, whether they deserve it or not.

            Jesus told us that if we gain the whole world, and lose our soul, it is a loss. This reveals to us something so incredible – that you, I, each individual person, are worth more than the whole world!! And yet, we often choose to sell our souls for much less than the whole world; in fact, for things that are worth nothing. We use our own freedom to enslave ourselves in things that leave us empty.

            But God has given us our freedom as a gift, and not even He could take it away. Jesus once said to St. Catherine of Siena: “I created you without you, but I will not save you without you.” It’s our choice. Will we say yes? Will we choose love?

As I said a few months back, I’m going to add a few reflections from Pope Francis’ Encyclical Lumen Fidei (The Light of Faith), with a few of my own, much less wise, thoughts added in:

-“It is precisely in contemplating Jesus’ death that faith grows stronger and receives a dazzling light. In that hour the depth and breadth of God’s love shone forth…gazing on the Pierced One. Jesus’ death is the supreme manifestation of God’s love for us.” –-- On the Cross, the deepest yearnings of our hearts are fulfilled…God loves me intensely, and is willing to suffer for me, to give me everything.

-“Faith transforms the whole person precisely to the extent that he or she becomes open to love.” –-- Faith is truly able to transform us and open us out from our selfish ways. It can free us from being trapped in ourselves, and open us outwards towards others. This is the goal of our freedom!

-“[Faith is] a light which, even as it enlightens us, calls us and seeks to be reflected on our faces and to shine from within us.” –-- Faith is not meant for us. One is not a Christian for one’s own sake! We are meant to be transformed in to God’s loving presence for others. Let’s let His light shine in our faces! Like Blessed Mother Teresa always said – Love begins with a smile!

Happy Fall to all you people who live in places where seasons actually exist! ;)

God’s Peace,

Eric

Praying and Working for Peace

Hello again from hot and sunny Ceiba! I’ve been dreaming of snow lately!! Ah, what I wouldn’t give to put on a big winter coat and run outside to roll around in that white, fluffy stuff! I guess the grass is always greener… ;)

Anyway, we’ve been serving in tons

Roger and I during one of the radio shows with Father Herald

of different ways here in this beach town for the past 10 days. From leading retreats, to doing programs in schools; from doing radio shows, to spending time with the homeless….all over the place!

Before commenting a bit on some of the ways we’ve served here, I want to touch on Syria. How incredible. Not what’s happening there – although I guess that is incredible in another, much sadder sense. But how incredible, the way things have turned out. This time last week, no one knew what was going to happen, everything was up in the air and crazy. And then Pope Francis asked the whole world, all men and women of good will, to pray and fast for peace. There was a 4 hour prayer vigil in St. Peter’s Square in Rome for peace. I don’t know what went on in other parts of the world, but I know that here in La Ceiba there was a large prayer vigil in the Cathedral, where many people came together to pray for peace in Syria, the Middle East, and the world, and all were encouraged to fast for the day. It was such an amazing feeling of being united to people around the whole world, all wishing for a peaceful solution to this insane problem. And now, only a few short days later, it looks like we might just receive that! The power of God! The power of prayer! Obviously things aren’t perfect, and there is a longggg way to go to achieve peace – but still, it’s an amazing start, one that looked impossible but a few days ago. God wants peace SO MUCH MORE than we do!!! We just have to be open to listening to Him, asking Him, and letting it come about in the way that HE wants, not the way that WE think is best. Let’s keep praying and working for peace!

Ok, now back to life here in La Ceiba. We are staying at the Cathedral here in the center of town. There are 5 or 6 homeless people that stay right outside, day and night. They’re all about 35 years old or so, and addicted to drugs.

So often, we are scared to even LOOK at a homeless person – we walk right be and try to pretend we don’t see them. We are afraid to acknowledge them, because……because…….because? Because we’re afraid of them? Because we don’t think we can help them? Because we don’t know what to say?

Trust me, I felt the same way!! In Rome, we would visit the homeless on the streets each Wednesday morning for about 3 years – just talking to them, offering them nothing more than a bit of coffee and our love. At first, I was SO SCARED! I remember getting to the train station the very first time, with my friend Natalia, and asking myself: “Uhhh…ok, so what do we do? What should we say? How do we start???” But, we just did it. And it was slightly awkward at first, but really not that bad. After doing this every week, I came to be friends with many of these people, and realized something pretty basic and profound – they’re just people! They’re not scary! Ya, they suffer a lot, but I think more from being treated as a non-person than from the conditions of being out on the street. Maybe if other people in their lives had treated them as people with dignity and value, they wouldn’t have ended up on the streets in the first place…

Anyway, now, when I see a homeless person, I just can’t help it – I have such a desire to go and talk to them, to try to bring them some joy!

So, each day, I’ve been visiting the homeless that live outside of the Cathedral. As always, the first time I went out, I was a little anxious. I only had 1 apple and a smile with me. But I felt such an urge to go – so I went. I went up to a man named Alex and introduced myself. I asked him if he was hungry, and he said yes, so I gave him the apple – and something amazing happened. He immediately turned and gave it to the woman who was lying down beside him on her little mat. Without even thinking – he just gave it away. Even though he was hungry; even though I’m sure he wanted to scarf it down, he gave it away. What is that?! We don’t see things like that too often in our culture. This unquestioning generosity. Putting someone else’s needs literally above and before my own.

He just looked at me and said: “She’s sick.” In other words – “Yes I’m hungry, but her needs are greater than mine. I’m going to care for her before myself.”

That is love. True love. Not love the emotion – butterflies and rainbows. But love, lived. Sacrifice. Putting someone else’s needs before my own. Love is giving. It is not a noun, it’s a verb.

I came across an awesome article about this exact topic this week, called “I Didn’t Love My Wife When We Got Married.” Here’s the link, check it out! It's super interesting and gaining a lot of popularity on Facebook:

http://popchassid.com/didnt-love-wife/

Yesterday, I went out for my daily visit with my new friends on the street. I started talking to a woman named Julia. For some reason she had a little stuffed Santa Claus, so I commented on it. She began to tell me all about how they celebrate Christmas here in La Ceiba and how beautiful it is. “Except, now it’s sad,” she said. “Because I don’t have a mom or a dad to celebrate with.” I asked her if she had any other family. She said she does, but that nobody wants her. They don’t want anything to do with her. She paused, and then she said: “But there’s Someone who wants me,” as she pointed up to the sky with a grin on her face. “Coincidentally,” right where she pointed, there was a small patch of blue in the otherwise grey and cloudy sky. “Blessed are the poor in spirit, for theirs is the Kingdom of Heaven” (Mt. 5:3).

“It doesn’t matter what we do, but how much love we put in to doing.” – Blessed Mother Teresa

 “We can’t do great things. So let’s do small things, with great love.” - Blessed Mother Teresa

Let's keep working for peace, by loving those around us. Let’s be instruments of love, which is to be instruments of peace in the world! Only when people have peace in their hearts will there be peace in our world. Ok, just one more Mother Teresa quote...I can't resist!

“Yesterday is gone, tomorrow has not yet come. We have only today. Let us begin.” – Blessed Mother Teresa

Peace,

Eric

1 year!

1 year in Honduras! I can't believe it....

I'm currently on the northern coast of Honduras helping out with a mission here, so I don't have my notebook and such that I normally use to help me with my blog posts. Soooo, I thought of something easier! I've been reading a lot of books by or about Blessed Mother Teresa lately, so I wanted to share some of her words. They apply so much to the mission here, but they apply just as easily to ANY person's life in any part of the world...because they're true! 

She can say it way better than I can, so let's let her do it! ;) 

Without further ado...Mother Teresa:

"I will never forget the first time I came to Bourke and visited the sisters. We went to the outskirts of Bourke. There was a big reserve where all the Aborigines were living in those little small shacks made of tin and old card-board and so on. Then I entered one of those little rooms. I call it a house but it’s only one room, and inside the room everything. So I told the man living there, “Please allow me to make your bed, to wash your clothes, to clean your room.” And he kept on saying, “I’m alright, I’m alright.” And I said to him, “But you will be more alright if you allow me to do it.” Then at the end he allowed me. He allowed me in such a way that, at the end, he pulled out from his pocket an old envelope, and one more envelope, and one more envelope. He started opening one after the other, and right inside there was a little photograph of his father and he gave me that to look at. I looked at the photo and I looked at him and I said, “You, you are so like your father.” He was so overjoyed that I could see the resemblance of his father on his face. I blessed the picture and I gave it back to him, and again one envelope, second envelope, third envelope, and the photo went back again in the pocket near his heart. After I cleaned the room I found in the corner of the room a big lamp full of dirt and I said, “Don’t you light this lamp, such a beautiful lamp. Don’t you light it?” He replied “For whom? Months and months and months nobody has ever come to me. For whom will I light it?” So I said “Won’t you light it if the Sisters come to you?” And he said “Yes.” So the sisters started going to him for only about 5 to 10 minutes a day, but they started lighting that lamp. After some time he got into the habit of lighting. Slowly, slowly, slowly, the Sisters stopped 
going to him. But they used to go in the morning and see him. Then I forgot completely about that, and then after two years he sent word—“Tell Mother, my friend, the light she lit in my life is still burning.” (CBML, p. 339) 

"And sometime back the sisters found a very, very miserable person, a man, one of those shut ins close by in Rome where the sisters are working, and they have never seen, I believe, anything like that, so anyway they washed his clothes, they cleaned his room, they made some hot water for him and so on, closed up everything, and they made a little bit of food for him also, and he never said one word. After two days—sisters kept on going to him twice a day— after two days he said to the sisters: “Sisters, you have brought God in my life, bring Father also.” And the sisters went and brought the priest and the priest heard his confession after 60 years. Next morning, he died. This is something so beautiful – that compassion of those young sisters brought God in the life of this man who had been for so many years forgotten, what is God’s love, what is to love one another, what is to be loved, he had forgotten for his heart was closed to everything."



"I pray that each one of you be holy, and so spread His love everywhere you go. Light His Light of truth in every person’s life, so that God can continue loving the world through you and me."

Amen! God bless you all,

Eric

Missions, Weddings, Retreats...And Yellow Fever?

Hola amigos! I hope this update finds you well! Our crazy summer here has come to an end. After 4 missions to the mountains, tons of visiting missionaries, 2 weddings, and a community retreat, things are beginning to slow down.

Mentioning visiting missionaries, we had 2 very special ones come to visit at the end of July…my parents! It was such a joy to have them here and to show them my life in Honduras. Instead of going the touristy route, they were able to come to the mountains and help us on a mission!! They were totally awesome with the kids, playing with them and teaching them English. And twice they gave a testimony about their marriage and our family, and how God has blessed it so much since they have always tried to keep Him in the center. I got to translate their talk, and it was so cool to be part of that and to work together as a family to be a witness of love to others.

After their 5 days here in Honduras, we packed up and traveled together to Bogota, Colombia for the wedding of Natalia, a good friend with whom I studied in Rome. Another crazy adventure (there’s always something!): As I was in the airport in Honduras, about to leave, a woman approaches me and says, “Excuse me, are you Mr. Crowley?” “Yes.” “Have you had your yellow fever vaccine?” “Uhhh…no, I don’t think so.” “I’m very sorry, but we won’t be able to allow you on this fight.” Whattttttt?!?! She went on to explain that, in order to enter back in to Honduras from Colombia, one needs to have had a vaccine for yellow fever. So I asked her if she would let me on the plane if I promised to get the vaccine right when I got there. She said it was still impossible, because the incubation period of the vaccine is 10 days, and I was only going to be spending 5 days in Colombia. “Ok, well if I get the vaccine when I get there, and then change my flight to come back after 10 days, will you let me on the plane!?” She agreed, and called through to security to let me on. Ah!

Long story short, I was able to get the vaccine once I got to Colombia (after much hassle!), and enjoyed an amazing time with great friends. We visited a Cathedral made completely out of salt in a mine 1mile below the earth; spent hours dancing on a party bus that drove throughout the city; had lunch at Natalia’s uncle’s house on a lake; visited a shrine to the Virgin Mary in the mountains overlooking the city; and of course there was the wedding! The wedding was in a tiny and very beautiful chapel. I got to help do the music, so we were in the balcony in the back; perfect view! It was an honor to get to help (try to) bring beauty to the Mass through the music. The priest was hilarious, and was cracking jokes throughout the whole ceremony! And finally, they were married! We went to an incredibly beautiful place (I think it was an old monastery) outside the city to celebrate the occasion!! Let’s just say that Latinos really know how to throw a party! So much dancing and craziness for hours on end :)

As it all came to an end, I figured that I should try to get on my flight back to Honduras, even though it had only been 3 days since I had received my vaccine. So I went with my parents to the airport, and it almost looked like they were going to let me on without a hassle. But at the last moment, the lady noticed that I needed a shot. I gave her my paper that proved I had received it, and was praying so hard that she wouldn’t see the date on it. But, she did. “I’m sorry, but it’s impossible for us to let you on this flight, etc etc.” My parents and I were all praying, and then suddenly the woman randomly asked me if I was a resident of Honduras. Do I look like a resident of Honduras?? It was so random that she asked that! But in fact, by God’s Providence, after more than 5 months of application, 8 trips to the capital city, and a ton of headache, I received my residency 1 DAY before my parents arrived in Honduras!! So I gave the woman my residency card, not thinking it would make any difference. Well, she took my residency card, asked all her little colleagues if it was actually a legit card, then typed some stuff in the computer and handed me my board pass. What?! I didn’t want to ask too many questions, but I was like, “Soooo, everything is fine now? I can go?” I couldn’t believe it was true! It shouldn’t make ANY difference that I’m a resident…as if that magically makes me immune to bringing yellow fever back in to Honduras!! But when my parents and I were praying, I could feel God’s presence so much, and I think He just worked everything out and kind of “broke the rules” for me. Woo hoo!

So now I’m back in Honduras, hopefully yellow fever free! I feel pretty good, so I think that’s a good sign. We just finished up our annual community retreat that the mission does each year after summer craziness. A generous family donated us their house near the beach, so we went there for our retreat. The focus of the retreat was on Pope Francis’ new Encyclical (aka like a “letter” he writes to the whole Church), called Lumen Fidei, The Light of Faith. Here are a few short reflections from Pope Francis (in quotes), with some of my own personal thoughts after:

-“Those who believe, see.” --- God doesn’t think like we do. We want to see in order to believe. He wants us to believe in order to see. That takes a lot of humility and trust…the very virtures that God wants us to have!

-“Faith is born of an encounter with the living God who calls us and reveals his love. Transformed by this love, we gain fresh vision, new eyes to see.” --- Faith is not just something passed down to us by our parents. It is a real MEETING with God. When we experience this meeting, we see all things differently. If you’ve never truly experienced God before in your life, ASK HIM! He wants us to ask Him, and He wants to reveal Himself to us!

-“Faith ‘sees’ to the extent that it journeys.” --- If we never leave our comfort zone, our faith will never grow. We really need to stretch it and trust God in the big things in order to see Him more clearly.

-“Life is not the product of non-being or chance, but the fruit of a personal call and a personal love.” --- You, the person reading this right now, exist in this moment because God Loves you! If He stopped loving your or thinking about you for one instant, you would disappear! Our life is not an accident; we are who we are, in this exact moment in history, in our exact family…because God knows exactly what we need, and He put us here in love.

-“Believing means entrusting oneself to a merciful love which always accepts and pardons, which sustains and directs our lives, and which shows its power by its ability to make straight the crooked lines of our history.” --- No explanation needed.

I’m going to continue to include a few reflections from Lumen Fidei in my next few blog posts…so stay tuned! Or you can read the whole Encyclical for yourself at: http://www.vatican.va/holy_father/francesco/encyclicals/documents/papa-francesco_20130629_enciclica-lumen-fidei_en.html

I’ll try to write again soon, hopefully sooner than later! God bless!

Eric

Summer Mission Adventures

          Another mission, done! During the whole summer, we have groups come from the US for missions in the mountains. Each of these missions typically lasts 12 days, and we just finished the second one. For me, this was the most spiritually intense mission I’ve ever done. I’ll recount just a few stories from our week in the mountains.

            Our group of 8 went to a village in the mountains called Laguna del Rincon (Lake of the Corner, literally). There were over 300 houses, which is pretty large for a village in the mountains. And in this village of 300 families, there were nine churches. Nine! How that’s even possible, I have no idea. The division amongst the people was so sad. The dynamic between Catholics and Protestants in this country is very different than it is in the US. Honduras is traditionally Catholic, and up until recently was about 100% Catholic. Here, when someone leaves the Catholic Church to join another faith, often times they cut off the rest of their family – families divided within themselves and against each other. We visited so many families that were torn apart, devastated that their own brothers or mothers or cousins won’t even speak to them any more, just because they have remained Catholic. Because of all this division, there was so much violence. Again, almost every family had a son or husband or father who had been murdered. So much sadness and anger…

            So this is what we were entering in to! We always try to visit as many houses as we can in a village, to meet the people, find out about their life and their problems, see if we can help in any way, and pray with them. One day, we visited the house of an old woman named Olympia. She was so utterly filled with joy, and even though she had a hard life, she was so thankful to God for everything. Several of her kids, grandkids, and other relatives were at the house, and it was a visit filled with joy and singing. God was preparing us for what was to come.

            Immediately after, we went to visit the house of a man named Don Pablo. He used to be one of the leaders in the Church, but after tragedy struck, he and his family went through a very dark period and almost lost their faith. They have a son, Pablo Antonio, who was unjustly committed of a crime and put in jail in Comayagua (2.5 hrs away) at the age of 18. He was there for 6 months. About a year and a half ago, there was a huge fire at this jail and it burned down, trapping about 200 people inside, all of whom were killed. Pablo Antonio was one of those who perished in the fire. There was so much sadness in this family, it was almost unbearable to be there. The father and mother were telling us this story and just crying and crying. But through it all, they were sure that their son was in heaven and that God had a purpose everything. We stayed with this family for more than 2 hours, praying, talking, crying. I felt so strongly in that moment that God really wanted me there, and that He was using me for some purpose. We were just there to meet other human beings, our fellow brothers and sisters, and to share their suffering. I felt like St. Paul, who said that he rejoiced with those who rejoiced and mourned with those mourned. I’ve rarely felt that before so directly, and it was kind of scary. Why would God ever choose to use me? But then I have to remember, He wants to use all of us, to bring His presence and Love to the world, if we are only open to Him. It was so beautiful just to be a presence to this family, to show them that there are others who care, to try to bring the love and mercy of God.

            Right after this, we visited the house of a 44 year old man, Santos, who has been in bed for 3 years. He was so destroyed- with his wife and 6 kids, he felt so useless in life, a burden to everybody. It was terrible to witness. He broke down in tears almost immediately when he began to tell us about his life. We could all feel his pain so much, and again we were all just crying. I had never cried before while visiting a house, but I think God was just allowing us to enter in to the pain and darkness of other people’s lives. One of the girls on our team, Ana Maria (from Honduras), felt an impulse, so she went on her knees before Santos and put her hand directly on his heart, and began praying, tears streaming down her face and his. It was one of the most powerful moments I can think of: being there so tangibly for another human being in need; and not just another human being- a brother, separated by distance but united in God’s Love. In that moment we all felt as one, and we carried his pain in our hearts.

            We didn’t find out until later that, the next night, Santos almost died. He actually stopped breathing for awhile, but later he recovered. His wife found him and thought that he was dead. When he “came to” again, he started asking for a priest. This village only receives a priest once a year. So the chances of a priest coming to visit this man…basically zero. But, in God’s amazing and Almighty Plan, a priest was coming to say Mass the very next day!! So the next day when Padre Gregorio arrived, I told him about Santos, and he went to visit him, hear his confession, and give him the Eucharist and the Anointing of the Sick. So beautiful. Jesus came to visit Santos in his hour of need. Jesus came. And He comes for us too.

            As one of our team members put it, if we weren’t crying out of grief and compassion, we were crying out of joy! There were so many joyful and hilarious moments that we shared during our mission, which gave us the strength we needed to help carry the crosses of others.

            We had a crazy adventure home, in the back of the truck for several hours as it poured down rain. I never imagined I could be shivering in Honduras!

            It was such an intense week. I felt used by God in a new way. He allowed me to enter in to the sufferings of others, and hopefully plant some little seed of hope. It’s definitely not easy, but it’s worth it.

            We’re leaving today for the mountains again! Who knows what God has in store this time. Whatever it is, I’m sure it will be an adventure! Please pray for us!

Que Dios los bendiga! (May God bless you all!)

Eric

Recent Reflections

Well, as usual, it’s been wayyyy longer than I ever planned since I’ve updated my blog! But here we are, 5 weeks later. So much has happened, but I am just going to share a few thoughts and reflections that I’ve experienced and been living during these times:

Sometimes, we just don’t really feel like God is there. We don’t feel His presence, we don’t feel like praying, there’s no real passion in trying to live out His commands. In those times, we have to ask ourselves: Is my faith a mere passing whim? Is it a sentiment? A feeling that may come and go like the wind? Or is it something deeper? I don’t want my faith to be an emotion. In times of difficulty or dryness, I need to choose Jesus, deeper than thoughts and feelings; deeper and more profound than my passing emotions. I am convicted of His life and His presence. Therefore, I choose to live from this conviction, rather than by what I feel.

Our community went on a weekend retreat to a beautiful waterfall nearby. My prayer was: “Thank you Lord for this beautiful nature, which screams to us of Your existence!” But I don’t want to just see God in something so amazing like as a waterfall. I want to see Him in everything! God, open our eyes to the immense wonder and mystery of a flower, a sunset, a bird, and most of all, of each and every human being.

We’re so stressed all the time! Why is that? Because we have a million and one things in our brain since the second we wake up in the morning. What is the most common thing to do the minute we wake up? Worry. Worry about what we have to do, where we have to go, how we’re going to get everything done. I don’t want to live in worry! So, I’m going to try not to think of a million things at once; I will do things one at a time. I will do it purposefully, and when I’m done, I will get up to continue my day. God is in the present moment, so let’s stop worry about and living in the future!

I’ve sinned. I have 2 options. I can be ashamed, run away from God, feel unworthy to be in His presence; or, I can have faith and trust in God’s infinite Mercy, recognize my own smallness and compete inability to do anything good without His grace, not be surprised at my fall (since I am so weak), and like a child, simply ask God’s forgiveness, return to His fold, and adore Jesus.

We recently put on a retreat for teens here in Comayagua. How is it possible that 150 teenagers, some rich, some poor, some from the mountains, some from the city, some faithful believers, others lost and in search of something more – can come together in one room, before a supposed “piece of bread” (the Eucharist), and be so deeply affected so as to weep?

            And this is no isolated experience! I’ve seen the same thing in the Bronx, in Pittsburgh, Rome, and countless other places. What has that kind of power, when it seems like almost nothing can deeply affect young people today? What has the power to make teens sit or kneel in peaceful silence for 2 hours, without cell phones or ipads? Or better put, WHO has that power?

            The power comes from this fact: We’re all, each and every one of us, rich or poor, man or woman, old or young – all of us are seeking for a deep, meaningful, lasting happiness and peace. The world tells us incessantly that the path to this happiness is simple: do whatever you want! This is freedom! This is happiness! We hear this voice from the world each day. It’s a voice that’s loud and flashy, attractive and exciting. And within ourselves, there is a part of us which tells us, “Yes! It’s true!”

            We have another part of us, deeper down and harder to hear, which tells us, “No. There’s something more.” This voice, the very Voice of God, is quiet and peaceful. It doesn’t fight with the noise of the world, but is always there, waiting for us to listen. And it’s HARD to listen. It takes real effort, real work. We have to separate ourselves from the noise – external, but mostly internal noise. We have to calm ourselves, and ask God to help us hear this voice that speaks in our depth. It is this voice, God Himself, Who can bring 150 teens to their knees in silence. Because this voice is something real. It’s not something flashy or superficial or short-lived. It counts from something real. It shows us who we REALLY are, underneath all the masks – why we’re here; where we come from; where we’re going.

            Jesus told the Apostles to go and make disciples of all nations, of all the world. Look inside yourself – there are worlds within our own heart that have yet to hear the Good News, or at least to believe them! How many wounds or grudges or fears exist within us that just can’t accept the fact that they are loved by God and can be healed; that He YEARNS to heal them? Let us seek out the still, small voice of God that speaks to our very core, and let us give Him those parts within us which so need His healing and peace.

“May the Lord of peace Himself give you peace at all times and in every way.” – 2 Thessalonians 3:16

Que Dios le bendiga! Hasta pronto!

Eric

Thoughts from Nicaragua

Hola mis amigos! Aqui estan algunos pensamientos de mis ultimas semanas (Hey friends! Here are a few thoughts from the past few weeks):

 

From the book untitled The Imitation of Christ:

“If I only knew how to persevere!”

“And if you did know, what would you do? Do now what you would do, and you shall be perfectly secure.”

 

A few weeks ago, I want to Granada, Nicaragua to study Spanish. I got to stay with a friend, Adela, with whom I studied during my year in Rome!

Each day after class, I would pass by the Cathedral and talk to a homeless man. When I met him at the beginning of the week, he was on the ground with small metal crutches. By the end of the week, he had a wheelchair (which someone gave to him), and had started a little “store”, selling gum and sweets out of a little box on his lap. He was so excited to start his new little business. But someone tried to steal his box during the night, and he ended up with a big black eye. So sad. He’s such a joyful and wise person. He told me that we all need to strive to be humble, and that when he was robbed, he tried to be humble and to say, “Well, they can take everything away, but they can’t take my joy, my love, my faith.” What a witness. He also told me how much he appreciated that I came to talk to him every day, because when most people see him, a man with shriveled legs out on the street, they don’t want to come near him. All I was doing was treating him like a human being – not really anything big – but it touched him a lot. It’s because all of us, rich or poor, want to be loved and treated like we’re worth something. And we are! Thanks be to God!

Adela’s family was such an example to me. They work so hard, and still go to Mass every day, visit sick people several times a week, and are constantly having meetings and prayer groups in their home. To me they are an example of people who give everything they have for the sake of Jesus.

My last day in Nicaragua, I got to go to Mass in the Cathedral. The priest was so passionate, and talked about how it’s so easy for us to talk to other people about any topic, other than God. He challenged us to say to one person during each day: “God loves you.” That should be so easy! Why isn’t it?! Why is it hard to say that, even to a stranger? God can really use that small phrase to plant a seed of hope in someone’s heart. Are we really so prideful and worried about our own self-image that we can’t do just a little bit to help a soul who is desperately seeking truth and happiness, just as we are?

I once heard a homily from a priest. He told how his father worked in toll booth on a toll road, collecting money. To each person who passed through, he would say, “God bless you.” One day, a car pulled up, and as always he said, “God bless you.” The man inside looked at him and said, “Yesterday, I came through this toll with every intention of committing suicide when I got home. But when you said ‘God bless you’ to me, I thought, ‘well, maybe there’s hope.’” 

Yes, it’s very difficult – for me too!!! But it’s worth it, for God and for souls.

This priest also shared about suffering, and how often times when something goes wrong in life, we immediately ask “why?” (in spanish, “porque?”). But this is the wrong question. The right question is “for what” (in Spanish, “para que?”). It’s just a small change in perspective (and in language, at least in spanish), but it makes all the difference. Instead of “porque is this happening God?”, we can ask “para que is this happening God?” “Para que are You allowing this to happen? What do you want to teach me? How do you want me to grow through this struggle? This changes our attitude from one of complaining to one of mission, seeking God’s will and how we can fulfill it.

The door is there, but Jesus said when we encounter it, it will be closed, not open. We must knock. It takes effort. And not just once, but every day. CS Lewis (author of Narnia) said that we have to give our lives in to the hand’s of God each morning anew, as if we had never done so before.

So, today is a new day. Let’s give Him our trust, today, and allow Him to be the one behind the wheel.

Peace to all!

Eric