1 year!

1 year in Honduras! I can't believe it....

I'm currently on the northern coast of Honduras helping out with a mission here, so I don't have my notebook and such that I normally use to help me with my blog posts. Soooo, I thought of something easier! I've been reading a lot of books by or about Blessed Mother Teresa lately, so I wanted to share some of her words. They apply so much to the mission here, but they apply just as easily to ANY person's life in any part of the world...because they're true! 

She can say it way better than I can, so let's let her do it! ;) 

Without further ado...Mother Teresa:

"I will never forget the first time I came to Bourke and visited the sisters. We went to the outskirts of Bourke. There was a big reserve where all the Aborigines were living in those little small shacks made of tin and old card-board and so on. Then I entered one of those little rooms. I call it a house but it’s only one room, and inside the room everything. So I told the man living there, “Please allow me to make your bed, to wash your clothes, to clean your room.” And he kept on saying, “I’m alright, I’m alright.” And I said to him, “But you will be more alright if you allow me to do it.” Then at the end he allowed me. He allowed me in such a way that, at the end, he pulled out from his pocket an old envelope, and one more envelope, and one more envelope. He started opening one after the other, and right inside there was a little photograph of his father and he gave me that to look at. I looked at the photo and I looked at him and I said, “You, you are so like your father.” He was so overjoyed that I could see the resemblance of his father on his face. I blessed the picture and I gave it back to him, and again one envelope, second envelope, third envelope, and the photo went back again in the pocket near his heart. After I cleaned the room I found in the corner of the room a big lamp full of dirt and I said, “Don’t you light this lamp, such a beautiful lamp. Don’t you light it?” He replied “For whom? Months and months and months nobody has ever come to me. For whom will I light it?” So I said “Won’t you light it if the Sisters come to you?” And he said “Yes.” So the sisters started going to him for only about 5 to 10 minutes a day, but they started lighting that lamp. After some time he got into the habit of lighting. Slowly, slowly, slowly, the Sisters stopped 
going to him. But they used to go in the morning and see him. Then I forgot completely about that, and then after two years he sent word—“Tell Mother, my friend, the light she lit in my life is still burning.” (CBML, p. 339) 

"And sometime back the sisters found a very, very miserable person, a man, one of those shut ins close by in Rome where the sisters are working, and they have never seen, I believe, anything like that, so anyway they washed his clothes, they cleaned his room, they made some hot water for him and so on, closed up everything, and they made a little bit of food for him also, and he never said one word. After two days—sisters kept on going to him twice a day— after two days he said to the sisters: “Sisters, you have brought God in my life, bring Father also.” And the sisters went and brought the priest and the priest heard his confession after 60 years. Next morning, he died. This is something so beautiful – that compassion of those young sisters brought God in the life of this man who had been for so many years forgotten, what is God’s love, what is to love one another, what is to be loved, he had forgotten for his heart was closed to everything."



"I pray that each one of you be holy, and so spread His love everywhere you go. Light His Light of truth in every person’s life, so that God can continue loving the world through you and me."

Amen! God bless you all,

Eric

Missions, Weddings, Retreats...And Yellow Fever?

Hola amigos! I hope this update finds you well! Our crazy summer here has come to an end. After 4 missions to the mountains, tons of visiting missionaries, 2 weddings, and a community retreat, things are beginning to slow down.

Mentioning visiting missionaries, we had 2 very special ones come to visit at the end of July…my parents! It was such a joy to have them here and to show them my life in Honduras. Instead of going the touristy route, they were able to come to the mountains and help us on a mission!! They were totally awesome with the kids, playing with them and teaching them English. And twice they gave a testimony about their marriage and our family, and how God has blessed it so much since they have always tried to keep Him in the center. I got to translate their talk, and it was so cool to be part of that and to work together as a family to be a witness of love to others.

After their 5 days here in Honduras, we packed up and traveled together to Bogota, Colombia for the wedding of Natalia, a good friend with whom I studied in Rome. Another crazy adventure (there’s always something!): As I was in the airport in Honduras, about to leave, a woman approaches me and says, “Excuse me, are you Mr. Crowley?” “Yes.” “Have you had your yellow fever vaccine?” “Uhhh…no, I don’t think so.” “I’m very sorry, but we won’t be able to allow you on this fight.” Whattttttt?!?! She went on to explain that, in order to enter back in to Honduras from Colombia, one needs to have had a vaccine for yellow fever. So I asked her if she would let me on the plane if I promised to get the vaccine right when I got there. She said it was still impossible, because the incubation period of the vaccine is 10 days, and I was only going to be spending 5 days in Colombia. “Ok, well if I get the vaccine when I get there, and then change my flight to come back after 10 days, will you let me on the plane!?” She agreed, and called through to security to let me on. Ah!

Long story short, I was able to get the vaccine once I got to Colombia (after much hassle!), and enjoyed an amazing time with great friends. We visited a Cathedral made completely out of salt in a mine 1mile below the earth; spent hours dancing on a party bus that drove throughout the city; had lunch at Natalia’s uncle’s house on a lake; visited a shrine to the Virgin Mary in the mountains overlooking the city; and of course there was the wedding! The wedding was in a tiny and very beautiful chapel. I got to help do the music, so we were in the balcony in the back; perfect view! It was an honor to get to help (try to) bring beauty to the Mass through the music. The priest was hilarious, and was cracking jokes throughout the whole ceremony! And finally, they were married! We went to an incredibly beautiful place (I think it was an old monastery) outside the city to celebrate the occasion!! Let’s just say that Latinos really know how to throw a party! So much dancing and craziness for hours on end :)

As it all came to an end, I figured that I should try to get on my flight back to Honduras, even though it had only been 3 days since I had received my vaccine. So I went with my parents to the airport, and it almost looked like they were going to let me on without a hassle. But at the last moment, the lady noticed that I needed a shot. I gave her my paper that proved I had received it, and was praying so hard that she wouldn’t see the date on it. But, she did. “I’m sorry, but it’s impossible for us to let you on this flight, etc etc.” My parents and I were all praying, and then suddenly the woman randomly asked me if I was a resident of Honduras. Do I look like a resident of Honduras?? It was so random that she asked that! But in fact, by God’s Providence, after more than 5 months of application, 8 trips to the capital city, and a ton of headache, I received my residency 1 DAY before my parents arrived in Honduras!! So I gave the woman my residency card, not thinking it would make any difference. Well, she took my residency card, asked all her little colleagues if it was actually a legit card, then typed some stuff in the computer and handed me my board pass. What?! I didn’t want to ask too many questions, but I was like, “Soooo, everything is fine now? I can go?” I couldn’t believe it was true! It shouldn’t make ANY difference that I’m a resident…as if that magically makes me immune to bringing yellow fever back in to Honduras!! But when my parents and I were praying, I could feel God’s presence so much, and I think He just worked everything out and kind of “broke the rules” for me. Woo hoo!

So now I’m back in Honduras, hopefully yellow fever free! I feel pretty good, so I think that’s a good sign. We just finished up our annual community retreat that the mission does each year after summer craziness. A generous family donated us their house near the beach, so we went there for our retreat. The focus of the retreat was on Pope Francis’ new Encyclical (aka like a “letter” he writes to the whole Church), called Lumen Fidei, The Light of Faith. Here are a few short reflections from Pope Francis (in quotes), with some of my own personal thoughts after:

-“Those who believe, see.” --- God doesn’t think like we do. We want to see in order to believe. He wants us to believe in order to see. That takes a lot of humility and trust…the very virtures that God wants us to have!

-“Faith is born of an encounter with the living God who calls us and reveals his love. Transformed by this love, we gain fresh vision, new eyes to see.” --- Faith is not just something passed down to us by our parents. It is a real MEETING with God. When we experience this meeting, we see all things differently. If you’ve never truly experienced God before in your life, ASK HIM! He wants us to ask Him, and He wants to reveal Himself to us!

-“Faith ‘sees’ to the extent that it journeys.” --- If we never leave our comfort zone, our faith will never grow. We really need to stretch it and trust God in the big things in order to see Him more clearly.

-“Life is not the product of non-being or chance, but the fruit of a personal call and a personal love.” --- You, the person reading this right now, exist in this moment because God Loves you! If He stopped loving your or thinking about you for one instant, you would disappear! Our life is not an accident; we are who we are, in this exact moment in history, in our exact family…because God knows exactly what we need, and He put us here in love.

-“Believing means entrusting oneself to a merciful love which always accepts and pardons, which sustains and directs our lives, and which shows its power by its ability to make straight the crooked lines of our history.” --- No explanation needed.

I’m going to continue to include a few reflections from Lumen Fidei in my next few blog posts…so stay tuned! Or you can read the whole Encyclical for yourself at: http://www.vatican.va/holy_father/francesco/encyclicals/documents/papa-francesco_20130629_enciclica-lumen-fidei_en.html

I’ll try to write again soon, hopefully sooner than later! God bless!

Eric

Summer Mission Adventures

          Another mission, done! During the whole summer, we have groups come from the US for missions in the mountains. Each of these missions typically lasts 12 days, and we just finished the second one. For me, this was the most spiritually intense mission I’ve ever done. I’ll recount just a few stories from our week in the mountains.

            Our group of 8 went to a village in the mountains called Laguna del Rincon (Lake of the Corner, literally). There were over 300 houses, which is pretty large for a village in the mountains. And in this village of 300 families, there were nine churches. Nine! How that’s even possible, I have no idea. The division amongst the people was so sad. The dynamic between Catholics and Protestants in this country is very different than it is in the US. Honduras is traditionally Catholic, and up until recently was about 100% Catholic. Here, when someone leaves the Catholic Church to join another faith, often times they cut off the rest of their family – families divided within themselves and against each other. We visited so many families that were torn apart, devastated that their own brothers or mothers or cousins won’t even speak to them any more, just because they have remained Catholic. Because of all this division, there was so much violence. Again, almost every family had a son or husband or father who had been murdered. So much sadness and anger…

            So this is what we were entering in to! We always try to visit as many houses as we can in a village, to meet the people, find out about their life and their problems, see if we can help in any way, and pray with them. One day, we visited the house of an old woman named Olympia. She was so utterly filled with joy, and even though she had a hard life, she was so thankful to God for everything. Several of her kids, grandkids, and other relatives were at the house, and it was a visit filled with joy and singing. God was preparing us for what was to come.

            Immediately after, we went to visit the house of a man named Don Pablo. He used to be one of the leaders in the Church, but after tragedy struck, he and his family went through a very dark period and almost lost their faith. They have a son, Pablo Antonio, who was unjustly committed of a crime and put in jail in Comayagua (2.5 hrs away) at the age of 18. He was there for 6 months. About a year and a half ago, there was a huge fire at this jail and it burned down, trapping about 200 people inside, all of whom were killed. Pablo Antonio was one of those who perished in the fire. There was so much sadness in this family, it was almost unbearable to be there. The father and mother were telling us this story and just crying and crying. But through it all, they were sure that their son was in heaven and that God had a purpose everything. We stayed with this family for more than 2 hours, praying, talking, crying. I felt so strongly in that moment that God really wanted me there, and that He was using me for some purpose. We were just there to meet other human beings, our fellow brothers and sisters, and to share their suffering. I felt like St. Paul, who said that he rejoiced with those who rejoiced and mourned with those mourned. I’ve rarely felt that before so directly, and it was kind of scary. Why would God ever choose to use me? But then I have to remember, He wants to use all of us, to bring His presence and Love to the world, if we are only open to Him. It was so beautiful just to be a presence to this family, to show them that there are others who care, to try to bring the love and mercy of God.

            Right after this, we visited the house of a 44 year old man, Santos, who has been in bed for 3 years. He was so destroyed- with his wife and 6 kids, he felt so useless in life, a burden to everybody. It was terrible to witness. He broke down in tears almost immediately when he began to tell us about his life. We could all feel his pain so much, and again we were all just crying. I had never cried before while visiting a house, but I think God was just allowing us to enter in to the pain and darkness of other people’s lives. One of the girls on our team, Ana Maria (from Honduras), felt an impulse, so she went on her knees before Santos and put her hand directly on his heart, and began praying, tears streaming down her face and his. It was one of the most powerful moments I can think of: being there so tangibly for another human being in need; and not just another human being- a brother, separated by distance but united in God’s Love. In that moment we all felt as one, and we carried his pain in our hearts.

            We didn’t find out until later that, the next night, Santos almost died. He actually stopped breathing for awhile, but later he recovered. His wife found him and thought that he was dead. When he “came to” again, he started asking for a priest. This village only receives a priest once a year. So the chances of a priest coming to visit this man…basically zero. But, in God’s amazing and Almighty Plan, a priest was coming to say Mass the very next day!! So the next day when Padre Gregorio arrived, I told him about Santos, and he went to visit him, hear his confession, and give him the Eucharist and the Anointing of the Sick. So beautiful. Jesus came to visit Santos in his hour of need. Jesus came. And He comes for us too.

            As one of our team members put it, if we weren’t crying out of grief and compassion, we were crying out of joy! There were so many joyful and hilarious moments that we shared during our mission, which gave us the strength we needed to help carry the crosses of others.

            We had a crazy adventure home, in the back of the truck for several hours as it poured down rain. I never imagined I could be shivering in Honduras!

            It was such an intense week. I felt used by God in a new way. He allowed me to enter in to the sufferings of others, and hopefully plant some little seed of hope. It’s definitely not easy, but it’s worth it.

            We’re leaving today for the mountains again! Who knows what God has in store this time. Whatever it is, I’m sure it will be an adventure! Please pray for us!

Que Dios los bendiga! (May God bless you all!)

Eric

Recent Reflections

Well, as usual, it’s been wayyyy longer than I ever planned since I’ve updated my blog! But here we are, 5 weeks later. So much has happened, but I am just going to share a few thoughts and reflections that I’ve experienced and been living during these times:

Sometimes, we just don’t really feel like God is there. We don’t feel His presence, we don’t feel like praying, there’s no real passion in trying to live out His commands. In those times, we have to ask ourselves: Is my faith a mere passing whim? Is it a sentiment? A feeling that may come and go like the wind? Or is it something deeper? I don’t want my faith to be an emotion. In times of difficulty or dryness, I need to choose Jesus, deeper than thoughts and feelings; deeper and more profound than my passing emotions. I am convicted of His life and His presence. Therefore, I choose to live from this conviction, rather than by what I feel.

Our community went on a weekend retreat to a beautiful waterfall nearby. My prayer was: “Thank you Lord for this beautiful nature, which screams to us of Your existence!” But I don’t want to just see God in something so amazing like as a waterfall. I want to see Him in everything! God, open our eyes to the immense wonder and mystery of a flower, a sunset, a bird, and most of all, of each and every human being.

We’re so stressed all the time! Why is that? Because we have a million and one things in our brain since the second we wake up in the morning. What is the most common thing to do the minute we wake up? Worry. Worry about what we have to do, where we have to go, how we’re going to get everything done. I don’t want to live in worry! So, I’m going to try not to think of a million things at once; I will do things one at a time. I will do it purposefully, and when I’m done, I will get up to continue my day. God is in the present moment, so let’s stop worry about and living in the future!

I’ve sinned. I have 2 options. I can be ashamed, run away from God, feel unworthy to be in His presence; or, I can have faith and trust in God’s infinite Mercy, recognize my own smallness and compete inability to do anything good without His grace, not be surprised at my fall (since I am so weak), and like a child, simply ask God’s forgiveness, return to His fold, and adore Jesus.

We recently put on a retreat for teens here in Comayagua. How is it possible that 150 teenagers, some rich, some poor, some from the mountains, some from the city, some faithful believers, others lost and in search of something more – can come together in one room, before a supposed “piece of bread” (the Eucharist), and be so deeply affected so as to weep?

            And this is no isolated experience! I’ve seen the same thing in the Bronx, in Pittsburgh, Rome, and countless other places. What has that kind of power, when it seems like almost nothing can deeply affect young people today? What has the power to make teens sit or kneel in peaceful silence for 2 hours, without cell phones or ipads? Or better put, WHO has that power?

            The power comes from this fact: We’re all, each and every one of us, rich or poor, man or woman, old or young – all of us are seeking for a deep, meaningful, lasting happiness and peace. The world tells us incessantly that the path to this happiness is simple: do whatever you want! This is freedom! This is happiness! We hear this voice from the world each day. It’s a voice that’s loud and flashy, attractive and exciting. And within ourselves, there is a part of us which tells us, “Yes! It’s true!”

            We have another part of us, deeper down and harder to hear, which tells us, “No. There’s something more.” This voice, the very Voice of God, is quiet and peaceful. It doesn’t fight with the noise of the world, but is always there, waiting for us to listen. And it’s HARD to listen. It takes real effort, real work. We have to separate ourselves from the noise – external, but mostly internal noise. We have to calm ourselves, and ask God to help us hear this voice that speaks in our depth. It is this voice, God Himself, Who can bring 150 teens to their knees in silence. Because this voice is something real. It’s not something flashy or superficial or short-lived. It counts from something real. It shows us who we REALLY are, underneath all the masks – why we’re here; where we come from; where we’re going.

            Jesus told the Apostles to go and make disciples of all nations, of all the world. Look inside yourself – there are worlds within our own heart that have yet to hear the Good News, or at least to believe them! How many wounds or grudges or fears exist within us that just can’t accept the fact that they are loved by God and can be healed; that He YEARNS to heal them? Let us seek out the still, small voice of God that speaks to our very core, and let us give Him those parts within us which so need His healing and peace.

“May the Lord of peace Himself give you peace at all times and in every way.” – 2 Thessalonians 3:16

Que Dios le bendiga! Hasta pronto!

Eric

Thoughts from Nicaragua

Hola mis amigos! Aqui estan algunos pensamientos de mis ultimas semanas (Hey friends! Here are a few thoughts from the past few weeks):

 

From the book untitled The Imitation of Christ:

“If I only knew how to persevere!”

“And if you did know, what would you do? Do now what you would do, and you shall be perfectly secure.”

 

A few weeks ago, I want to Granada, Nicaragua to study Spanish. I got to stay with a friend, Adela, with whom I studied during my year in Rome!

Each day after class, I would pass by the Cathedral and talk to a homeless man. When I met him at the beginning of the week, he was on the ground with small metal crutches. By the end of the week, he had a wheelchair (which someone gave to him), and had started a little “store”, selling gum and sweets out of a little box on his lap. He was so excited to start his new little business. But someone tried to steal his box during the night, and he ended up with a big black eye. So sad. He’s such a joyful and wise person. He told me that we all need to strive to be humble, and that when he was robbed, he tried to be humble and to say, “Well, they can take everything away, but they can’t take my joy, my love, my faith.” What a witness. He also told me how much he appreciated that I came to talk to him every day, because when most people see him, a man with shriveled legs out on the street, they don’t want to come near him. All I was doing was treating him like a human being – not really anything big – but it touched him a lot. It’s because all of us, rich or poor, want to be loved and treated like we’re worth something. And we are! Thanks be to God!

Adela’s family was such an example to me. They work so hard, and still go to Mass every day, visit sick people several times a week, and are constantly having meetings and prayer groups in their home. To me they are an example of people who give everything they have for the sake of Jesus.

My last day in Nicaragua, I got to go to Mass in the Cathedral. The priest was so passionate, and talked about how it’s so easy for us to talk to other people about any topic, other than God. He challenged us to say to one person during each day: “God loves you.” That should be so easy! Why isn’t it?! Why is it hard to say that, even to a stranger? God can really use that small phrase to plant a seed of hope in someone’s heart. Are we really so prideful and worried about our own self-image that we can’t do just a little bit to help a soul who is desperately seeking truth and happiness, just as we are?

I once heard a homily from a priest. He told how his father worked in toll booth on a toll road, collecting money. To each person who passed through, he would say, “God bless you.” One day, a car pulled up, and as always he said, “God bless you.” The man inside looked at him and said, “Yesterday, I came through this toll with every intention of committing suicide when I got home. But when you said ‘God bless you’ to me, I thought, ‘well, maybe there’s hope.’” 

Yes, it’s very difficult – for me too!!! But it’s worth it, for God and for souls.

This priest also shared about suffering, and how often times when something goes wrong in life, we immediately ask “why?” (in spanish, “porque?”). But this is the wrong question. The right question is “for what” (in Spanish, “para que?”). It’s just a small change in perspective (and in language, at least in spanish), but it makes all the difference. Instead of “porque is this happening God?”, we can ask “para que is this happening God?” “Para que are You allowing this to happen? What do you want to teach me? How do you want me to grow through this struggle? This changes our attitude from one of complaining to one of mission, seeking God’s will and how we can fulfill it.

The door is there, but Jesus said when we encounter it, it will be closed, not open. We must knock. It takes effort. And not just once, but every day. CS Lewis (author of Narnia) said that we have to give our lives in to the hand’s of God each morning anew, as if we had never done so before.

So, today is a new day. Let’s give Him our trust, today, and allow Him to be the one behind the wheel.

Peace to all!

Eric

 

 

Questioning God

The “feels like” temperature is currently 111 degrees (43.9 celsius). It’s crazy when 95 degrees feels like a nice spring day!

The other day, I went to go visit a young guy named Noe who is bed-ridden. He was shot 3 or 4 years ago, and is now paralyzed from the waist down. He has a wheelchair, but rarely leaves, and spends most of his days in his bed. Even when its 111 degrees. And yet, he is one of the most faith-filled, encouraging, and joyful people that I know! There was a medical brigade down here last week, a group of about 30 doctors that came down from the US to perform surgeries, completely for free. This occurs about once every two months, and people travel from up to 5 or 6 hours away to come here and receive free surgeries. Noe actually received a surgery during one of these brigades – one of the 8 surgeries he’s had in the past 3 years. Now he goes to visit people in the rooms, hearing their fears and concerns, and praying with them and encouraging them that everything will be just fine. To me, this young guy is a saint. He’s doing exactly what Jesus did – turning one of the most horrible things imaginable (the cross) in to something that brings life to others (the resurrection).

I visited him with another friend, and we got to talking about the US, and its strict border laws. My friend with me began to tell us the story of how his father went to the US to find work and send money home to support his family here. He paid a coyote (a “guide” who brings you across the border illegally), and went with a big group across the border in Texas. They successfully crossed the border, and then spent three days trekking across the desert, with little to eat or drink. They encountered human bones, and had to wear PVC pipes on their shins to protect from snakes. At one point when one woman could go no further, the “coyote” told them to just leave her – my friend’s dad and another carried her the rest of the way across the desert. He eventually reached New York, where his brother was staying, and moved in with him….for one day. Somehow the cops found out, and busted in unexpectedly the day after he arrived. They carted him off to immigration, aka jail, and he had no idea how long he would be there. Sometimes people stay a week, others a year. His family had no word from him for the next 3 months while he was stuck in jail; finally he was allowed to leave and go back to Honduras.

After my friend finished this story, he asked me if it was difficult for me to be to travel to Europe when I studied there. Noe answered for me – “It’s not hard for Americans to travel anywhere. The world is open to them.” How true is that; and how unjust! People from the US and other so-called “privileged” countries can travel wherever they want, while someone from Honduras is suspect at every turn. They have to prove that they have at least $7,500 in the bank to even be considered able to enter in the US! I don’t say all this to get in to politics and all of that; I know there are reasons for laws, etc. But it all just seems so unjust and unfair.

Something more – we had a TON of trash last week, so I and another missionary where taking it all out. We have a big box outside with a lock on it, where we keep our trash. I never knew why we had to lock up our trash….who’s gonna steal it?! Well, I found out this week. We had so much trash that it didn’t fit in to our box, so I put 5 or 6 bags on top of the box, and called it a day. Our director saw it, and told me we can’t do that. If the people in our neighborhood see a trashbag outside, they will immediately come and tear it open, looking for valuables or things to recycle. I was shocked. Although I have never actually seen this happening, I’ve heard many stories. Once I was visiting a family, and they told me that they don’t go to Mass on Sundays because they go out as a family to look through trash all day.

Why God? These are just a few stories of injustice. How many thousands, millions more are there? What can we do, really? How do we heal a world that is so broken, that has built itself on a foundation of injustice and death, and is bound to crumble? Why are some born in to the “privileged” world, while others have to sift through trash?

It’s so easy, in the face of so much darkness, to give up, to lose hope. It’s true, we really can’t change much. We can’t change the structures of countries and governments that allow some to live in excess while others live with nothing. The one thing we can change is ourselves. If I can change myself for the better, maybe I will inspire others to do the same.

There’s a song I like that starts off by asking God why He allows these things to happen. The singer asks God, “When are you going to do something?” And He replies, “I did. I made you.” So with faith that Jesus has already conquered death and evil, and that He will continue to do so every day, through us more than anything else, let us go forth, perfecting ourselves and our faults, so as to perfect the world.

Let us pray: Give me Lord, a faith that is deeper than feelings or consolation; a faith that truly believes in Your merciful and loving presence with me at all times, and that strives to live a life that conforms with this faith. Give me, Lord, a hope that withstands all trials and supports me through darkness, that in the face of so much suffering and madness will always stand firm and say: “Courage! God is here.” Give me, Lord, a love that has no boundaries and no exceptions; that forgets self and looks out to others first; that knows deeply that we are all one body, and because of this knowledge flees with a burning haste to heal and nourish those parts of the body that are hurting most – even those in our own back yard. Give me a heart after Your own Heart, Lord, meek and humble. How amazing it is Lord: You have a Heart! Mary, whose heart most resembles that of your Son, make our hearts like His – full of hope, and open to a world who needs His comfort and light! Amen.

“Venid a mi todos los que estais fatigados y sobrecargados, y yo os dare descanso.”

“Come to me, all you who are weary and overburdened, and I will give you rest.” (Matthew 11:28)

Alleluia!

I don’t really know where to even begin with this blog. Well, as many of you know, I went home last week to be with my Grandma during her last days of life. I’m back in Honduras again after a whirl-wind week of sadness, joy, traveling, family, Easter celebrations…It felt like a month!

During Holy Week, our whole community went to a beach in the north of Honduras for a mission. Honduras is a Catholic country, but during Holy Week, the most important week of the whole year in our Church, many people get off from work and head to the beach. Instead of attending the beautiful processions, celebrations, and Masses that Latin America is famous for during Holy Week, many participate in activities less – holy”, we’ll say – on the beach.  So the bishop of this particular area asked our community if we would come to do a mission, talking to people about God, doing skits, talks, music, and activities on the beach, and inviting people to the various Holy Week celebrations. This is super unheard of in Honduras (well, I guess it is pretty much anywhere), but one priest put it this way: “Is Satan going to be at the beach? Well then, why not bring Jesus?!”

So, miracle number one – on Tuesday of Holy Week, a horrible storm came through, and the torrential rain meant that nobody went to the beach. So we were stuck with nothing to do. Luckily, a man we were working with used to work at a home for children that had been abandoned to live on the streets, so we went there to visit with the kids. Normally we would have stayed out on the beach until 8 or 9 at night, but this day we returned to our house at 4. I figured I would check my email to see if I had any news from my parents about my Grandma. Sure enough, my mom had sent an email saying that if I wanted to be with her before she passed away, I should come home the next day.

Miracle number, two – So, I ran to the closest ticket office to buy a bus ticket for the airport for the next day. Closed. All week. So I tried to find a ticket that I could buy online. The websites of 3 companies – crashed. Finally I found one that let me buy a ticket, after this website also failed four times!

Miracle three – The other missionaries were so amazingly supportive, praying for my Grandma and my family during Mass and with me before I left. I headed out the next morning at 4am, and a priest drove me to the bus stop, which was now an abandoned building with no one there. With only 15 minutes until my bus was supposed to leave, we frantically asked all the policemen that would could find (they stand out on the streets all night with massive guns) where the bus stop was! Finally we found it, and I took a three hour trip to the airport.

Miracle number four – I’m usually good at traveling. I’ve done it enough to have my routine and to know exactly what I’m doing. This time, I was a bit frazzled. So as I went to enter security, I realized I no longer had my passport or wallet with me – I had left them in the bathroom! I sprinted back to the bathroom, and there was a man leaving the bathroom with my things in his hand! So I politely thanked him and yanked them from his grip, and sprinted back to security. After that, my trip home was smooth sailing.

I made it back home that Wednesday night. My dad picked me up, and we went straight to the hospital. It was the first time I had seen my Grandma since her stroke, and it definitely was not easy. But it was beautiful to be there, and another miracle that I made it there to be with her before she passed!! Thanks be to God.

Miracle number five: the greatest of all – My mom and I spent the night with my Grandma, sleeping a bit, but mostly talking together and with her, and praying. I found out later that the nurses were worried about this “kid from Honduras bringing weird diseases in to the hospital.” Oops! The next day, all of my Aunts and Uncles came to the hospital, and we spent the day talking and praying more. Holy Thursday. As Jesus was preparing for His death on the cross, my Grandma was also preparing for her death. How beautiful. It made living Holy Week so much more real.

At one point, I really just felt I should pray the rosary, so we all began to pray around the bed of my Grandma. I was leading the first mystery, when the miracle happened: My Grandma had not opened her eyes in more than two days. But almost the moment that we started to pray the rosary together around her, she opened her eyes wide, and just stared at us. I know that she was praying with us, saying goodbye, and telling us that Mary was coming to bring her to Jesus in Heaven. After a minute, she began to look past us, as if she saw something. And then, she died, so peacefully and beautifully. Obviously we were all crying, but mostly out of thanksgiving and utter joy – what a beautiful entrance in to heaven! Surrounded by family, praying to God. We were all just so filled with joy that she was Home, with God and with my Grandpap again. We had been telling her constantly: “Just go Grandma! What are you waiting for!” There was a marker-board in her room that said who her nurses were, her medicines, etc, and one place that said “patient goals.” My Aunt had written: “Meet Jesus.” We kept telling Grandma, “Grandma, we’re not leaving until you meet your goals!” Well, she met them. I’m pretty sure the nurses and the people in the hospital thought we were absolutely crazy when we left. We were visibly filled with joy, talking, smiling, recounting this incredible event. Maybe we are crazy; but that’s the beauty of faith in a God of Love.

The following days were filled with ups and downs, but mostly ups. A full week at home with the entire family – what a huge blessing! Around Christmas, we had played an epic game of Uno together with my Grandma, that had lasted 7 hours. So in honor of this, we played another game, and set up Grandma’s chair. It was just a joyous and laughter-filled – she was there with us.

And now I’m back in Honduras. From 20 degrees and snow to 95 degrees and sun, all in one day. I don’t think the human body was made for that! It’s weird now, because everything is “normal” again. It’s hard to go back to normal after something like this happens! It’s in the normal events of everyday life that we come to realize more fully the absence of our loved ones. But it’s also in the everyday things of life that we can remember, if we have faith, that they are there with us, closer than we can imagine. They are there smiling, praying, and coaxing us to remember: “Only one thing matters. Love. Love God, love others, love yourself.” If we do that, we can be confident that, through the Mercy of God, we will again be with our loved ones in an embrace of ecstatic love that will never end. As tomorrow we celebrate Divine Mercy Sunday, let us remember the Mercy of God, His infinite Love for us. The image of Jesus on the cross speaks two words to all humanity: “Behold God.” A God whose Body and Heart were broken for His great Love for us. Let us entrust our loved ones and ourselves to this Mercy, forgetting everything else, and listening to that still, small voice that says: “Come.”

"The righteous will shine like the sun in the kingdom of their Father." -- Matthew 13:43. Rest with Jesus Grandma!

Happy Easter to all of you! Alleluia!

In His Risen JOY,

Eric